It's been a while since I last posted. I've been putting it off and putting it off, until now when I finally said enough is enough. Time to put on my big girl panties and just do it.
First of all, I'm not posting any pics or numbers because they haven't changed. At all. I've been trying, but nothing's changed. My weight has been the same since the beginning. I have been losing and gaining the same 3 pounds. My pants fit the way they always have, which is the change I'm looking for. I want the numbers to down on the scale, but I'm more interested in the numbers on the those tags going down.
And I'm very frustrated, and almost defeated that they haven't. Over the past 6 weeks I have been at the gym 3 to 4 times per week. I always do cardio, and I strength train twice a week. I'm really pushing myself with the strength training because I know that muscle burns more than fat, and if I want to ever eat more than 1200 calories a day I'm going to need more muscle.
And the calorie count? I've stuck to it. I may once week go over by 100 calories, but never more than that. And most days I'm under by about 50 calories, not too much because that can just as detrimental to weight loss as going over. Your body goes into starvation mode and holds onto the calories.
Part of me wants to say "what's the point of all this if nothing changes?" But most of me knows that it will. I just have to keep trying. By giving up in the past when I reached this point has left me with the shape I have.
So I will work harder at the gym. I will push myself harder on the elliptical, and add some weight to the reps on the weight machines. I cannot add time to my workout because I'm there as long as I can be. But I will add days to the week that I go, instead of 3 to 4 I can push it to 4 to 5, maybe 6.
And I can look over what I'm eating. I'm not sure how much wiggle room I have there though. Not a lot you can do with only 1200 calories. And if after another month there's still no change, I'll make an appointment with my doctor to see if there's something going on that preventing the weight from going.
But what I will not do is give up. And when that voice in my head that pops up that says this is all pointless, I mostly tell it to shut up.