Thursday, April 16, 2015

Changes

I've been thinking of writing another post for a while now.  Pretty much since I finished the last one.  But, well, life happens.  And I'm kind of indecisive at times.  There's so much I want to write about that I just do not know where to start.  I've made some changes, and had a lot of things change for me.  Some of the things I want to write about impact others in my life, and I need to make sure I protect their privacy while still being authentic to my desire to have a conversation with everyone.  And there are some things that once are out there, I can never take back.  Some stuff I'm just not sure I want to be out there forever and always.  Part of the way I deal with things is to talk about it, out loud and with others.  But some of it is just stuff I've held onto for a long time and kept intensely private.  I'm getting close to starting that conversation, but not yet.  I need to figure out for myself what level of disclosure I'm comfortable with.
Here's something I am comfortable talking about: my health.  I've recently been diagnosed as having hypothyroidism.  It honestly seems like such a small thing, but you would be amazed at all ways having an under active thyroid can affect your life.  I was diagnosed in August and started on medication right away.  This is one of those things that you just cannot treat with diet or lifestyle changes.  But believe you me, things need to change.  I pay closer attention to how I'm feeling and can now let go of the guilt and shame I felt for so long about somethings.  The fatigue that comes along with this is no joke.  There are days where I struggle to get up and just empty the dishwasher.  I also struggle with keeping my anger in check and now know that is from my thyroid issue.  Instead of feeling bad for how irritable I feel - which believe you me just makes you feel more irritable - I can acknowledge that feeling and deal with it without exploding.
This also affects my metabolism.  All last summer I went to the gym 4 to 5 times every week and watched my diet.  I did not lose an ounce.  Once I was diagnosed I kind of stopped going and relaxed about what I ate.  As a result I gained about 30 pounds in just over 3 months.  So now I've started crossfit.  And I LOVE it!!!  I'm just about finished with the first two weeks and next week I start doing the regular WOD.  And I've gotten back to watching my diet and I've lost a couple pounds so far.  My endocrinologist suggested I try Paleo.  But I have not been doing that.  I'm mostly working on low-carb and that seems to work for me.  So if anyone has any low-carb recipes and tips & tricks let me know!
And that's it for now <3