Friday, June 26, 2015

#LOVEWINS

When I woke up this morning I saw that SCOTUS has ruled that marriage should now be legal in all 50 states for ALL Americans regardless of sexual orientation.
*Side note: I've always kind of disliked the term Gay Marriage because to me that infers some sort of different type of marriage when all the LGTBQ community was fighting for was the chance to have the same right to marriage that all hetero's enjoy.*
As I've gone about my day, I thought I should document all the ways that my life as a hetero married woman with 2 kids under 10 has been impacted in the 6 hours since I heard of the decision.  So here they are:
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Would you look at that?  My life has not been impacted in any way shape or form.  I'm still free to practice any religion I chose as long as it does not impinge on any other's rights, or cause physical harm to any.  My husband is a retired soldier and as such I am still insured under his medical insurance.  I am still recognized as a dependent (as a grown woman in a grown-ass relationship I DETEST that word) on his VA pension and for his education benefits.  When he goes to the hospital I am allowed in the room with him.  When we file taxes this year we will still be able to enjoy that married deduction that all married couples enjoy.  We will not have to pay our taxes at the same rate a single person pays.  If we were to separate there are legal protections in place that ensure I am not left destitute.  Those of us who are married know that there is an extra layer of security in knowing that your partner has tied their life to yours in numerous ways that doesn't happen when you just cohabit.  As the spouse of retired soldiers I get to enjoy many of the benefits that my husband does, such as tax free shopping on base and access to (almost free) flights anywhere in the world.  My husband is still listed as a parent on my childrens' birth certificates.  If we were to separate there are laws that protect my right as a parent to those children - that will never be taken away from either one of us.  When my husband dies I can be there to hold his hand and make sure he knows how much I love him.
But those rights and benefits I listed above were denied to millions of Americans.  Millions, people - MILLIONS.  How many same-sex partners were turned away at the hospital door because they weren't a relative?  How many lost children when relationships ended because they are not legally recognized as parents?  Children they had raised and loved for years?  How many have lost their homes when relationships ended because there was nothing there to legally protect their investments?  How many have been in long-term stable relationships for decades but have not been recognized as such because they weren't "legally" married?  How many have paid hundreds and thousands more in taxes because they weren't "legally" married?  How many partners of service members have had to deny their relationship out of fear for their partners' careers?  How many of those same people have been shut out of being a part of their partners lives because since they weren't "legally" married they weren't considered dependents and therefore could not go with their partners when their partners were stationed overseas?
Now put yourself in their shoes.  And try to imagine how your life would be impacted simply because you fell in love with someone who was the same sex you are.
I will never understand discrimination.  I will always fight against it.