tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24069930084155339312024-03-14T08:56:40.121-04:00My Life...Or something like itRaynaErinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10061747620020281601noreply@blogger.comBlogger23125truetag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2406993008415533931.post-89953920410520773382015-09-19T10:08:00.000-04:002015-09-19T10:08:00.954-04:00Into the ZoneSo the last time I posted, I wrote briefly about starting the Zone diet. I'm still doing it and it's worked pretty well for me - after a few hiccoughs here and there. I've been on it for just about 7 weeks and it's worked really well for me. So far I've lost a total of 8 pounds and 6 total inches off my waist and hips. It took some getting used to, and since I've stopped logging these past two weeks I've been more apt to fall off the wagon, but it's getting easier to get back on it. If you're thinking of trying it, or have just started, here are a few tips that have worked for me, as well as a few things I've learned along the way. <br />
1. Give yourself options. I've only got 10 blocks to eat every day, and I figured I'd be hungry all the time. So I planned for bulky carbs and proteins. This was a huge mistake. There were some days where I just wasn't that hungry but I'd still have to get all this food in. So even if you think you'll be hungry all the time because x-amount of block is just not near enough, trust me. There will be times you're just not that hungry and having a date with an ounce of cheese and a couple nuts is about all you can fathom eating. <br />
2. EAT ALL YOUR BLOCKS. During the first 4 weeks I lost almost a pound of muscle. The Zone is meant to maintain lean body mass - as long as you stick to what you're supposed to do. I struggled a lot during the first couple weeks and my meals weren't exactly balanced. I'd be off in my calculations and be missing a few carbs or have too much protein or forget the fat all together. And while I did lose 5 pounds in the first 4 weeks, one of those pounds was muscle. And I work too damn hard in the box to be losing muscle.<br />
3. Start slow. Eat the same thing for breakfast every day and the same thing for lunch every day. It'll make prepping easier and shopping. Pick a couple things to have for dinner and alternate. When you get the hang of that add some variety to dinner or lunch or breakfast, but not all at the same time. You'll get overwhelmed with trying to prep everything and making sure you have all the block covered.<br />
4. Focus on one thing a week you'd like to change or make better. For me the first week was just getting used to the zone and figuring out what worked for me. The second week was planning better and the third I focused on prepping. I've gotten away from focusing on things, so this coming week I'm going to focus on getting stricter with myself. I no longer have to reach out to my accountability partner daily, and I no longer have the pressure of public logging to keep my focused. <br />
5. Quest bars will save your life. You can plan your meals down to the minute, but something will come up where you're not going to be able to eat what you've planned for some reason. Or maybe you walked out the door and spaced on grabbing your cooler. When you go shopping every week make sure you grab a couple to keep in the car or your purse for emergencies. Because trust me, staring at a salad bar and trying to figure out how to block out 3 blocks is intimidating and people look at you strange if you freak out because you just cannot remember how many cups of lettuce is in a block and what the hell does three cups of lettuce look like?!<br />
6. Find some way to make planning and prepping fun. Prepping can take over an hour. I've put on some music and just jammed out while cooking. I've also brought my tablet into the kitchen and caught up on some Netflix. <br />
7. You don't have to go crazy prepping. I spend a few minutes a week prepping because I usually eat the same things every day. And I'm not much of a meat eater so most of my protein comes from cheese. It doesn't take long to cut a block of cheese into one ounce servings. And trust me, one ounce of cheese is a lot more than you think it is. Ricotta is another good protein, two ounces is one block and you can add some peppers and other veggies with some Italian herbs and a splash of balsamic vinegar for a savory option, or add some berries for carbs and plain cream cheese for fat and you've got a sweet breakfast of desert. Once you know what a block of apples or broccoli or really anything looks like, it's easy and quick to throw stuff together. <br />
8. You don't always have to get it right. The pressure of being perfect or getting it perfectly right all the time can cause you to just not do it anymore. Forgive yourself. Expect mistakes. Reach out when you've made a mistake and you'll find 10 people reaching back telling you they've done the same thing and how they overcame it. When you trip do you lay down on the ground for the rest of your life and say fuck it? I fell and I'm done forever and ever? No, you get up and you keep moving. This is just like that. Accept that at some point you're going to be tired and overwhelmed with everything going on in your life and reaching for a frozen pizza is about all the energy you have to spare. Get up the next day and get back on it. You're human and you're going to mess up. When you understand that it'll be easier to get back on it when you make a mistake.<br />
9. Be the treat meal Nazi. Trust me. When you've been looking forward to this meal ALL FUCKING WEEK and something happens and you end up at a gross Chinese food buffet where they bring you your wine in a fucking coffee cup all because someone messed up and didn't do the research into the restaurant they heard was good but was filled with old people and you're there with your two little kids. You're going to be pissed and it's going to make the next week all that much longer because you've had a crappy treat meal and you're not getting another one for another 7 long days. Take total control of your treat meal. Even if you leave your husband at home and go to Cheesecake Factory by your own damn self. Although, I'm pretty sure there will be about 7 other ZoneThugs willing to make that trip with you!<br />
So do what you will with these ideas. They're just some things that I've learned along the way. This journey will be yours and what works for me may not work for you. The best piece of advice I can give you is to figure out what works for YOU. It's the only way you're going to stick with it. RaynaErinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10061747620020281601noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2406993008415533931.post-48323330582329533352015-08-01T10:44:00.001-04:002015-08-01T10:44:31.519-04:00My WHYAs I've mentioned before, I started crossfit in March and it has changed a lot for me, and in ways I never expected. This month I'm starting the Zone diet through the box I go to. Our coach has started a program for a group of us and last night was the intro class. She figured out the blocks for each of us, and we went over what a block is and how to be successful during the 4 week program. One of the first things our coach brought up was the "WHY". Why are we doing this? Getting thinner and fitter are whats. We needed to figure out what our personal why was. And to be honest that one stumped me for a while. So I slept on it and it hit me this morning what my why was. And it ties into a lot of things for me. A lot of which I have talked about on this blog. But I'm going to explain it here. And this might be uncomfortable for some people, but it's my why and my truth. And it's something I'm tired of hiding.<br />
From the age of 11 to the age of 13 I WAS the victim of sexual abuse by a man we thought of as family. I won't go into the details because they're not needed. And that emphatic "was" is going to be important in a little bit, so remember it. I remained a victim long after the abuse ended. I exhibited a lot of typical victim behaviors. Most of which I worked through and left behind years ago. But there was a small detail that has stayed with me for years. I hated my body. I HATED it. I could not let that go. I've tried for years to be healthy and take care of myself, but nothing stuck for long for the simple fact that I hated my body. How can you take care of something you hate? I didn't want to hate it. I wanted to be comfortable in it. And that is the reason I tried for years to take care of it. In the hopes that by transforming it I would learn to love it. But that's not how it works. I figured that out through crossfit. I can wax poetic on the ways that crossfit has impacted my life. But I'll keep it simple and say that through crossfit I'm learning to love my body. <br />
I posted a picture on facebook last night that says "I am obsessed with becoming a woman comfortable in her skin". That is my why.<br />
I started this blog years ago with the goal of one day talking about this. Talking about why I am unhappy with my body. It went deeper than being unhappy with the way I look. It stems from that one sentence: I WAS a victim. But I refuse to be a victim for one moment longer. I'm a fucking survivor. I survived years self-hatred and years of being ambivalent about living or dying because I was his victim. But I'm not a weak fucking victim any more. <br />
And I'm tired of keeping his secret. And make no mistake, it was HIS secret I kept. Because I didn't do anything wrong. HE did. I'm not keeping his secret one moment longer. I survived two years of sexual abuse. <br />
I realize this is a difficult topic for a lot of people. And some may feel that it is a topic to be kept private. And while that may work for some people, it does not work for me. I refuse to feel ashamed and keep a dirty secret that is not mine to keep. Silencing victims makes them internalize and take on blame that belongs to someone else. If you are a victim or a survivor, find a way to speak out. It's not your secret to keep and the abuser doesn't deserve your silence.<br />
<br />RaynaErinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10061747620020281601noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2406993008415533931.post-36156535888904425862015-07-15T13:27:00.000-04:002015-07-15T13:27:43.257-04:00I am Wonder Woman, hear me roar!<a href="https://www.facebook.com/LadyBossLiving/videos/934760843210904/?fref=nf" target="_blank">What it means to be a strong mom</a><br />
This video right here gets me right in the feels. So many feels when I watch it. <br />
I have mentioned some of this before, but I'm going to repeat it for the sake of this post. To make it make more sense. <br />
I am 35 years old, and I have spent most of my life hating my body. I've hated the belly rolls and the thunder thighs and the flappy arms. So many people have tried to help by saying "you look fine" and "you're not that big" and my favorite (not) "your body gave birth to two kids". None of that did anything for me. As much as I wanted to believe that, and would just smile and nod, inside my head I was scoffing at them like an MF'er. When you're not happy with your body there is not anything in the world that anyone can say to change that. That has to come from within. That had to come from me, and me alone. It had to become my truth. And slowly, this video has become my truth. <br />
A lot of that change came from when I joined Crossfit Outspoken in April. It's been just over three months, but those three months have changed so much for me. I'm still not happy with the way I look, but I'm getting better about it. You know what? I may not be a size 6 but I lifted one hundred and eighteen motherfucking pounds today in a sumo deadlift. I may not be able to rock a bikini like I did when I was 17 but I did 9 rounds of burpees and deadlifts. I may not have a six pack but yesterday I PR'd on my split jerk. I'm getting better and better at keeping my form correct for these movements. THIS is the legacy I will leave to my children. Giving up is easy, oh so easy. It's easy to give in to that voice in your head that says "slow down you can't breathe. No one is going to know that you didn't really give it your all" while I'm in the middle of box jumps and slam balls, or running and doing burpees. But I'll know. And I can't expect anything to change if I keep doing what I've always done. So I push hard and end the WOD gasping for air like a fish out of water, but I finished it and I worked HARD. And now I chose to focus on the positive like that and ignore the insidious voice in my head that says "give up". I may never get the body I've always wanted, but the body I've got is capable of so much more than I ever gave it credit for. And that is what I want my kids to see. They'll never hear me say anything negative about my body because I don't want them to inherit my insecurities. I want them to inherit the strength I'm learning that I have. The perseverance to push through and finish when I'm gasping for breath and dripping sweat. The stubbornness that won't allow me to quit. And that is pretty damn amazing. I know my kids see this and they are learning this. My daughter will imitate the things she sees me doing in crossfit. My son will just randomly get up and do a few burpees. RaynaErinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10061747620020281601noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2406993008415533931.post-80131058406654606622015-06-26T15:27:00.003-04:002015-06-26T15:27:51.924-04:00#LOVEWINSWhen I woke up this morning I saw that SCOTUS has ruled that marriage should now be legal in all 50 states for ALL Americans regardless of sexual orientation. <br />
*Side note: I've always kind of disliked the term Gay Marriage because to me that infers some sort of different type of marriage when all the LGTBQ community was fighting for was the chance to have the same right to marriage that all hetero's enjoy.*<br />
As I've gone about my day, I thought I should document all the ways that my life as a hetero married woman with 2 kids under 10 has been impacted in the 6 hours since I heard of the decision. So here they are:<br />
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Would you look at that? My life has not been impacted in any way shape or form. I'm still free to practice any religion I chose as long as it does not impinge on any other's rights, or cause physical harm to any. My husband is a retired soldier and as such I am still insured under his medical insurance. I am still recognized as a dependent (as a grown woman in a grown-ass relationship I DETEST that word) on his VA pension and for his education benefits. When he goes to the hospital I am allowed in the room with him. When we file taxes this year we will still be able to enjoy that married deduction that all married couples enjoy. We will not have to pay our taxes at the same rate a single person pays. If we were to separate there are legal protections in place that ensure I am not left destitute. Those of us who are married know that there is an extra layer of security in knowing that your partner has tied their life to yours in numerous ways that doesn't happen when you just cohabit. As the spouse of retired soldiers I get to enjoy many of the benefits that my husband does, such as tax free shopping on base and access to (almost free) flights anywhere in the world. My husband is still listed as a parent on my childrens' birth certificates. If we were to separate there are laws that protect my right as a parent to those children - that will never be taken away from either one of us. When my husband dies I can be there to hold his hand and make sure he knows how much I love him.<br />
But those rights and benefits I listed above were denied to millions of Americans. Millions, people - MILLIONS. How many same-sex partners were turned away at the hospital door because they weren't a relative? How many lost children when relationships ended because they are not legally recognized as parents? Children they had raised and loved for years? How many have lost their homes when relationships ended because there was nothing there to legally protect their investments? How many have been in long-term stable relationships for decades but have not been recognized as such because they weren't "legally" married? How many have paid hundreds and thousands more in taxes because they weren't "legally" married? How many partners of service members have had to deny their relationship out of fear for their partners' careers? How many of those same people have been shut out of being a part of their partners lives because since they weren't "legally" married they weren't considered dependents and therefore could not go with their partners when their partners were stationed overseas? <br />
Now put yourself in their shoes. And try to imagine how your life would be impacted simply because you fell in love with someone who was the same sex you are.<br />
I will never understand discrimination. I will always fight against it. RaynaErinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10061747620020281601noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2406993008415533931.post-63778660790722715302015-05-27T17:27:00.001-04:002015-05-27T17:27:34.268-04:00I ain't no fortunate oneThis post has been a long time in the making. But here goes.<br />
A little bit of background first. I met my husband in late October of 2005.. Two months later I peed on a stick and we found out we were going to be parents. After that things moved very fast, and we had some issues, but we worked through them for the most part and were married in March of 2007, when our son was 7 months old. A few days after marrying, my husband lost his job and we made the decision for him to go active duty in the Army. Prior to that he had served in the National Guard for 6 years. We met two weeks after he returned home from deployment.<br />
We didn't spend much time together during our first year of marriage due to Hubby's responsibilities with the Guard and then when his contract was transferred to Active Duty he was sent to Germany. Our son and I followed 3 months later. Even when we were there he was working 14-15 hours a day, so we didn't spend much time together. And then a few days after our first wedding anniversary my husband deployed again, this time for 15 months. He came home on my birthday in 2009. And that is where our story really starts.<br />
During the entire deployment all I heard from the FRG and similar groups was to not expect my husband to come home the same as when he left. I wasn't stupid - I didn't expect him to come home the same as when he left. He went to war for God's sake. I don't think anyone comes home unchanged from that. But I was unprepared for how much he had changed. I didn't notice it right away, but it quickly became more and more apparent just how much he had changed. I first noticed it a couple weeks after he came home. I had made an appointment to get my hair cut, then spent some time wandering around the PX by myself. I took my time because I didn't think I had to rush home and I hadn't really had any time to myself for almost 2 years. My son was with his father, and when Tommy was born Hector and I worked different shifts so he'd be home by himself with Tommy for up to 10 hours a day. With no problems. That day I was gone for less than 4 hours. And came home to a furious husband and a sobbing toddler. Hector blew up on me about being gone for so long.<br />
Before that last deployment the man I had married was outgoing and gregarious - someone everyone wanted to be around. He was the guy you went to when you needed help because you knew he was going to know what to do. He was the life of the party and had patience for days. He very rarely got mad, and you had to really push him to get him mad. The man who came home was sullen and withdrawn. He was hesitant to spend any kind of time with anyone except me, or really go anywhere. He was angry - a lot. And for silly little things. He'd get really angry really easily. And then he'd shut down. Just sit at his computer for hours and days at a time and would get upset if he was interrupted. <br />
And then I found out that he had a <a href="http://www.ptsd.va.gov/public/problems/traumatic_brain_injury_and_ptsd.asp" target="_blank">TBI</a> from an explosion downrange. The convoy he was in was hit by explosives. And then I learned about the <a href="http://www.ptsd.va.gov/PTSD/public/PTSD-overview/basics/index.asp" target="_blank">PTSD</a>. Those seven letters have become the third person in our marriage. We have spent the last 6 years struggling to figure out how we worked. I've had to take control of every aspect of our lives. Not because I want to be a control freak, but because there are things my husband can no longer do. <br />
We've dug ourselves out of hell so many times I lost count. There have been so many times where I just don't think I can do this anymore. I can't be his enemy anymore. Because how do you fight against monsters in your own head? I honestly think that sometimes I become the physical manifestations of his demons. I've had to learn patience like I've never had before. My skin at times is a mile thick. I'm a referee between him and the kids. I'm his buffer against the outside world. And that can be so overwhelming at times. <br />
We've come a long way in the past 6 years, but it will never be what it was. We've gone through too much, and had to change so much. We work every day on making our marriage work, and it is a daily challenge. Some days are easier than others. On those days I can almost see past TBI and PTSD. Other days that's all I can see. I never know from one day to the next what will happen. I have no idea what our future looks like. But I hope and I'm determined that it will be a future we share.RaynaErinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10061747620020281601noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2406993008415533931.post-4581753071572016602015-05-26T15:17:00.000-04:002015-05-26T15:17:01.969-04:00Points to ponderAlright, so I've been doing <a href="http://crossfitoutspoken.com/" target="_blank">crossfit</a> for almost 2 months now and I LOVE it!!! I love that it pushes me outside my comfort zone and gets me to do things I'd never do on my own. I love that the athletes I work out with are so encouraging and really work to inspire each other. It really is a family atmosphere and I'm probably addicted. I talked my husband into too. And while he's not as gung ho about it as I am (not yet anyway!) he still really likes it. Just seems like the past couple weeks have been one thing after another keeping him from going, from building a fence to a broken toe. But he was there yesterday when we did the <a href="http://athletics.wikia.com/wiki/Murph" target="_blank">Murph WOD</a> together. It was awesome to be able to do that together and cheer each other on. There are few hobbies that we have in common and I'm excited that this will become one. I'm happy that we're working on our fitness and health together. <br />
Now the part I'm frustrated about. I haven't lost any weight since starting. I'm not sure what's going on, but it can be discouraging at times. I'm working on revamping how I think of things. Like I said before, I'm not really concerned so much with the number on the scale as I am about the number on the pants tags. Well, that and I'm starting to really want to life the heavier weights. I know I need to work on my diet. I've spent so much time worrying about the calories that I haven't paid much attention to the quality of those calories. I'm try to keep my carbs and fat down while increasing my protein. My doctor suggested that in order for me to lose weight that I'd need to decrease my calories to 800 to 1000 daily. That to me just seems to drastic and likely to put my body into starvation mode which will cause it to hold on to everything. And since I'm doing crossfit 6 days a week, that number seems really too low. I'm sure once I really start to build the muscle the fat will decrease and clothes will start to fit better. So now I remind myself that while I may not be seeing big changes right away, I'm making myself better and making my health better by working on my fitness. I need to stop focusing on losing weight and start focusing on getting fitter. I'm going to stop focusing on what's not going right and start focusing on what is. And what is going right is that I'm out that door almost every morning to work out instead of sitting my ass chugging coffee. I'm watching the athletes at the box and instead of thinking "damn, I can't do that" I'm thinking "I'm GOING to be able to do that someday". <br />
The first step is I'm not stepping on the scale any more. All that number does is just fuck up my thinking for the rest of the day. I'm going to start enjoying my food. I'm going to buckle down and really try to get rid of the processed food. I've done a good job on starting that. Just need to stick with it. I'm going to pay attention to why I'm eating, am I really hungry or just bored. And if I'm really hungry than an apple will be just as appealing as a bag of potato chips (at least I'm hoping because I REALLY love potato chips...and cookies. I could eat cookies all day long). I also need to increase my water intake. Other than 2 cups of coffee daily, water is the only thing I drink, but I think I need to drink just a little bit more of it. Especially when I'm hungry because sometimes thirst feels like hunger. RaynaErinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10061747620020281601noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2406993008415533931.post-30263551786819228412015-04-16T18:02:00.002-04:002015-04-16T18:02:46.918-04:00ChangesI've been thinking of writing another post for a while now. Pretty much since I finished the last one. But, well, life happens. And I'm kind of indecisive at times. There's so much I want to write about that I just do not know where to start. I've made some changes, and had a lot of things change for me. Some of the things I want to write about impact others in my life, and I need to make sure I protect their privacy while still being authentic to my desire to have a conversation with everyone. And there are some things that once are out there, I can never take back. Some stuff I'm just not sure I want to be out there forever and always. Part of the way I deal with things is to talk about it, out loud and with others. But some of it is just stuff I've held onto for a long time and kept intensely private. I'm getting close to starting that conversation, but not yet. I need to figure out for myself what level of disclosure I'm comfortable with. <br />
Here's something I am comfortable talking about: my health. I've recently been diagnosed as having <a href="http://www.endocrineweb.com/conditions/thyroid/hypothyroidism-too-little-thyroid-hormone" target="_blank">hypothyroidism</a>. It honestly seems like such a small thing, but you would be amazed at all ways having an under active thyroid can affect your life. I was diagnosed in August and started on medication right away. This is one of those things that you just cannot treat with diet or lifestyle changes. But believe you me, things need to change. I pay closer attention to how I'm feeling and can now let go of the guilt and shame I felt for so long about somethings. The fatigue that comes along with this is no joke. There are days where I struggle to get up and just empty the dishwasher. I also struggle with keeping my anger in check and now know that is from my thyroid issue. Instead of feeling bad for how irritable I feel - which believe you me just makes you feel more irritable - I can acknowledge that feeling and deal with it without exploding. <br />
This also affects my metabolism. All last summer I went to the gym 4 to 5 times every week and watched my diet. I did not lose an ounce. Once I was diagnosed I kind of stopped going and relaxed about what I ate. As a result I gained about 30 pounds in just over 3 months. So now I've started <a href="http://crossfitoutspoken.com/" target="_blank">crossfit</a>. And I LOVE it!!! I'm just about finished with the first two weeks and next week I start doing the regular WOD. And I've gotten back to watching my diet and I've lost a couple pounds so far. My endocrinologist suggested I try Paleo. But I have not been doing that. I'm mostly working on low-carb and that seems to work for me. So if anyone has any low-carb recipes and tips & tricks let me know! <br />
And that's it for now <3RaynaErinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10061747620020281601noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2406993008415533931.post-5715591528424057342015-02-16T09:05:00.001-05:002015-02-16T09:06:57.848-05:00Amuse-BoucheWow! It has been one busy month. Busy in a good way? Not really. Unless you think sick kids are fun, then this month would have been awesome for you. We've had bronchitis, ear infections, stomach bugs, and pink eye. It's been a regular Lysol fest over here. I think it's been since December since both of my kids have been healthy at the same time. If either one gets sick again any time soon, I'm going to just start bathing them in Lysol. Hourly. <br />
So I've finished with my classes. Still have some work to get done before student teaching, but it's just forms to fill out. And I need to call the school board here and find out if I need to do my fingerprints again, or if the ones I did in December '13 will work. I also have to get ahold of my student loan lenders and figure out how to do some deferrals on those puppies until I finish student teaching. Which is not happening until August (fingers crossed!) so that means I'm out of school for six months. <br />
The house is coming along. Working on it little by little. But at least it no longer looks like a nuclear bomb exploded up in this biznatch. Plus, Hubby FINALLY got the garage/ManCave cleaned up. That means I no longer have camping gear piled in the dining room. <br />
Camping gear, you ask? Well, that's a post for another day! RaynaErinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10061747620020281601noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2406993008415533931.post-64186091294973737792015-01-20T16:55:00.001-05:002015-01-20T16:55:41.701-05:00Cha Ching!So one of my goals that I've had forever, but haven't really accomplished much with is getting organized. Let's face, I have good intentions but horrible follow-through. I really really want to be this glamorous organized paragon of motherhood/wifeliness (<---I just made a new word y'all!). Alas, as my stepdaddy used to say "wishes in one hand and shit in the other...which gets fuller faster?" BUT 2015 is my year y'all!!! I can feel it :-) <br />
I'm starting with baby steps and taking the little accomplishments as they come and building upon them. So this is what I've done so far...<br />
I am staying on top of when my school work is due. For just about forever I've run behind on that, and my undergrad GPA paid the price. As long as I passed right? Not so much does that work in grad school where there is a required GPA. So no more late assignments. I will be up sometimes till the wee hours getting it done by the due date, but by God it will be done! I've also in the past let participation slide because it's only 10 points of my total grade. But those 10 points are 10% of my grade and whole letter grade. <br />
I'm also really buckling down on tracking our finances. For a long time now we've spent every penny that comes in the door - and then some. Mostly because I've been lazy on budgeting and tracking where our money goes. This is an area where I'm making baby steps. I'm using an app on my phone called <a href="https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.molovi.checkbook&hl=en" target="_blank">Checkbook Pro</a>, which cost me I think $1.99 on the Google Play store. I'm trying to remember to track every single expense, which is a step closer to sticking to our budget. <br />
Hubs and I have talked it over and we're going on a spending cleanse for the entire month of February. There are a few things that are not exactly necessary to survival, but they're things we've committed to, so we'll be doing that. But other than that we're not spending a dime unless it's crucial to our continued existence. Plus I sit here and map out a budget each month as part of participating in the <a href="http://militarywarriors.org/programs/" target="_blank">Military Warrior Support Foundation</a> program. If I'm going to spend the time doing that, we're going to follow it. Whether Hubs likes it or not. Ok...whether I like it or not. We have to do this because while we've been given this great opportunity to own a home with the MWSF program, we're not saving anything and we're not getting any closer to our dream home. <br />
So that's what I've done so far. Anyone have any great tips that helped them get on track financially?RaynaErinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10061747620020281601noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2406993008415533931.post-78046586569581186262013-12-05T20:48:00.000-05:002013-12-05T20:48:02.503-05:00Just put one foot in front of the other This week I started my observation hours. Getting my degree from UoP means that some requirements are just for Florida, and some are straight up university requirements. And this week I learned that the 100 required hours is just for UoP students - not required by the state. But that's ok. I wanted lots of field experience. It's why I went for the MA and did not go the alternative route. <br />
I observed at a local high school, not far from my house. I can observe any K-12 class, but I'm hoping to be able to do all of it in a high school setting since that is what I will be getting my master's degree in. The teacher that allowed me to observe was really nice and funny. A really great teacher. Her classroom management style is almost effortless. But I'm guessing that it is absolutely not. Especially in one class that is very.... rowdy. <br />
She sat and talked to me about the school. It has a high population of free/reduced lunch, and a lot of the kids come from...a disadvantaged background. She told me that some of their backgrounds would just break your heart and it is a difficult balance between being compassionate and being taken for a sucker. Because some of the kids would milk your sympathy for everything they can get. <br />
I'm even more excited to start teaching after doing just 8 hours of observing. I don't really know what it was about that setting that got me fired up, but it did. I think that deep down everyone wants to be a good student and get that feeling of accomplishment when they get a good grade. Knowing that their hard work has paid off. And I think that's because way back when, I was one of those kids. My backstory isn't horrific or horrendous, but it sure wasn't all that easy at times. My mom and dad did the best they could, but sometimes life sucks. And even though I was sitting there mouthing off to the teacher and giving student teachers absolute hell, I wanted the good grade. <br />
And that's enough maudlin talk for one night! Kids are in bed, house is picked up, and homework can wait. It's Thursday night and that means Grey's and a glass of wine!RaynaErinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10061747620020281601noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2406993008415533931.post-43720659794398072182013-11-19T12:06:00.001-05:002013-11-19T12:06:54.784-05:00Nitty Gritty of it allToday I started the first really real class of my MA. The other first class was an orientation, and thank God for it! There are so many resources available through the UoP College of Education it's redonk! <br />
I called the high school here in Rockledge about starting my observation hours, and I'm waiting to hear back from the assistant principal. If I don't hear anything by the end of the day tomorrow I'm going to call the Viera high school (which is only 5 minutes from my house). <br />
Our first assignment for this class is reviewing an article about the common core state standard initiative. Which is a good thing because I've realized that I have no clue how those standards will impact my career. I know how they affect my second grader, but not how they will affect me. From what I've seen so far they don't seem so bad, but we'll see if that opinion changes once I'm more familiar with how they affect the classroom.<br />
Tommy and I are still doing karate, and he still really likes it. Which is good because I do too! We were going all three days it's offered at the Viera Community Center, but there's a bible study at the church on one of those days that I'd really like to check out. <br />
Now, I've had the Microsoft Surface Pro for about a month now and I must say I really like it. I've wanted a tablet for a couple years now, but it always seemed like a superfluous item to have since I had a laptop and a smartphone. What I really wanted was something that combined the laptop and tablet and the Surface Pro seems to be doing that. I know a lot of people had an issue with how small the app store is, but it doesn't really bother me. I have a Note II so I have a mobile device for all the apps I use. I'm using the touch keyboard for it and while I'm not loving it as much, it gets the job done. Thinking about saving up for the type one. RaynaErinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10061747620020281601noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2406993008415533931.post-45315083882884484062013-11-11T21:44:00.002-05:002013-11-11T21:45:11.983-05:00Tomorrow, tomorrow, I love yaTomorrow starts the last leg of a VERY long trip... Tomorrow is the day I start my master's program. I am going for a MA in secondary education. That's right, I'm going to be a high school teacher! I am sooooo unbelievably excited to finally start this. It's been a long, arduous journey filled with obstacles along the way. But it's finally here!<br />
We've been in our home for about 4 months now. And we still have so much to do. We are about 85% unpacked. The other 15% is just odds and ends and will most likely end up in the trash since if we haven't needed in 4 months.... <br />
Hector Thomas is settling in at his new school. There have been a number of growing pains. I'm sure some of it is just part of getting into a new school yet again. But some of it is the fact that Orlando dismissed his IEP completely. Now we are starting from scratch and I hope that it will be a smooth process. Albeit one where I ask repeatedly how it is going. Finally got approved to volunteer in the school. One part of me is impressed that they do such a thorough job of vetting volunteers. The other part of me wonders why it takes over 8 weeks for the process here in Brevard when it took less than 24 hours in Orlando.<br />
Bella is LOVING preschool. She goes twice a week for now since I'm not quite ready for her to go any more than that just yet. Next August she'll be starting VPK, which will be 5 days a week. The following January she'll start going full-time since that is when I'll start my student teaching. <br />
Hector is doing ok. Still having some ups and downs, but it's still getting better. He may have the opportunity to do something school-wise with the Wounded Warrior Project, so we're keeping our fingers crossed. <br />
All in all it's been an eventful couple months, and it's only going to stay busy. But hey idle hands and minds and all that...RaynaErinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10061747620020281601noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2406993008415533931.post-22018001198759263262012-09-21T15:17:00.000-04:002012-09-21T15:17:05.118-04:00Deja VuIt's been a while since I last posted. I've been putting it off and putting it off, until now when I finally said enough is enough. Time to put on my big girl panties and just do it. <br />
<br />
First of all, I'm not posting any pics or numbers because they haven't changed. At all. I've been trying, but nothing's changed. My weight has been the same since the beginning. I have been losing and gaining the same 3 pounds. My pants fit the way they always have, which is the change I'm looking for. I want the numbers to down on the scale, but I'm more interested in the numbers on the those tags going down. <br />
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And I'm very frustrated, and almost defeated that they haven't. Over the past 6 weeks I have been at the gym 3 to 4 times per week. I always do cardio, and I strength train twice a week. I'm really pushing myself with the strength training because I know that muscle burns more than fat, and if I want to ever eat more than 1200 calories a day I'm going to need more muscle. <br />
<br />
And the calorie count? I've stuck to it. I may once week go over by 100 calories, but never more than that. And most days I'm under by about 50 calories, not too much because that can just as detrimental to weight loss as going over. Your body goes into starvation mode and holds onto the calories.<br />
<br />
Part of me wants to say "what's the point of all this if nothing changes?" But most of me knows that it will. I just have to keep trying. By giving up in the past when I reached this point has left me with the shape I have. <br />
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So I will work harder at the gym. I will push myself harder on the elliptical, and add some weight to the reps on the weight machines. I cannot add time to my workout because I'm there as long as I can be. But I will add days to the week that I go, instead of 3 to 4 I can push it to 4 to 5, maybe 6. <br />
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And I can look over what I'm eating. I'm not sure how much wiggle room I have there though. Not a lot you can do with only 1200 calories. And if after another month there's still no change, I'll make an appointment with my doctor to see if there's something going on that preventing the weight from going. <br />
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But what I will not do is give up. And when that voice in my head that pops up that says this is all pointless, I mostly tell it to shut up.RaynaErinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10061747620020281601noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2406993008415533931.post-5183462391088969612012-09-03T13:13:00.000-04:002012-09-03T13:13:41.682-04:00Be About ItA couple points to make this week, and I can't promise to be brief. I can promise to be honest.<br />
I don't want anyone to think that this blog is just about weight-loss, because it is not. It is about my life and what is going on it at the time I'm writing. Working to get into better shape is not my only focus. I want a better body, but I also want a better life. As I stated before, I am not happy with the shape of my body. So I can learn to be happy with it (which hasn't happened in about 15 years so I don't see that changing any time soon) or I can finally do something about. Instead of thinking about it and talking about and wishing about it. DOING something about it. So that is what I am doing. I have become pretty diligent about logging everything. I use <a href="http://www.myfitnesspal.com/" target="_blank">MyFitnessPal</a> to log what I eat, how I exercise and how often, and how much water I drink. I think I've only missed one day in the last 2 weeks. And it really helped me yesterday. Normally when I think I've blown it for the day, I really go all out and totally blow it. But yesterday I sat down for a few minutes and logged everything (good thing I've got a good memory!) and found out that I hadn't really blown it and was able to have a couple squares of dark chocolate with a glass of wine. <br />
As far as exercise goes, last week was tough for me. I made it to the gym 3 times last week which is one short of my realistic goal. My fantasy goal is 5-6 times a week. I'm doing a program for beginning runners, which is a category I fall into because I haven't really run since I was on the track team in 8th grade. I found the program on Pinterest, <a href="http://pinterest.com/pin/28217935136113986/" target="_blank">here</a>. I'm up to week 3 and next week I'm going to start week 4. I'm also going to really start to focus on strength because muscle burns more calories than fat does. And if I want to be able to eat more than 1200 calories a day, I'm gonna need more muscle. But the good news is that even though I didn't work out as much as I wanted to last week, I didn't gain any weight. I do have a goal weight of 125-130 in mind, but I have a goal pants size that is more important. 125-130 the way I am now would still be unhealthy cuz there's a lot more jiggle than there should be. I'm aiming for a size 8, which I think is realistic. If I work really hard I can do a 6, but I think I like food too much and exercise not enough for that to be a reality.<br />
And in the interest of a better life, I am trying to be a more patient person. I can be really impatient and short tempered. I'm really working on that because I'm starting to feel how that is impacting my life. I used to get upset if I was waiting in line at the checkout and the person in front of me was taking FOREVER to count out the exact change. To. The. Penny. Now I take that time to breath and think over what I have in my cart: do I really need it? did I forget anything? And I think that maybe that person in front of me is on a strict budget.<br />
I'm also trying to be a more present mom. As any parent of small kids will tell you, sometimes it is a tedious job. And sadly enough you can get by with the rote "Oh Wow!" responses all too often, without really knowing what your child said. But I recently read somewhere to listen earnestly to anything your children want to tell you, no matter what. Because if you don't listen eagerly to the little stuff when they are little, they won't tell you the big stuff when they are big. Because to them all of it has always been big stuff. <br />
I'm not posting any before and after pics this week, because there really hasn't been any changes. Same goes for no measurements. But I promise next week to post the pics and the details. I would also like to encourage anyone thinking of getting into shape to contact me. We may not be able to workout side by side, but we can still encourage each other and keep each other accountable. We can also trade tips and recipes. <br />
I hope everyone is having a great Labor Day Weekend!!!RaynaErinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10061747620020281601noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2406993008415533931.post-74942875763803430922012-08-27T19:35:00.001-04:002012-08-27T19:35:58.279-04:00Just the facts ma'amI'm at week 2 with my "lifestyle" change. It's been interesting and hard. My new motto is "quit slacking and make shit happen". It's the longer version of "just do it". And to be honest it's helped me not just with working out, but with other things too. <br />
A couple weeks ago I posted about trying to come up with a schedule that works for this family. Well, I came up with one. Sticking to it is another story. I guess you can say it's a work in progress. But at least it's not dead in the water! We're sticking to the spirit of it, and working together on it. <br />
One thing I have stuck with is the diet and exercise. I hit the gym after dropping the munchkin at school. It's only a mile from his school. I only had time one day last week for strength training because of different things, but I've been trying a training routine for beginner runners. And I'm really happy with my progress. So here are week 1 and 2 pics, and the new stats. Minus the measurements. I'm also posting my cardio stats, cuz I'm really happy with them!<br />
Week 1 weight: 158.6<br />
Week 2 weight: 155.6<br />
Cardio:<br />
Monday 1.27 miles 20 minutes<br />
Tuesday .98 miles 15 minutes<br />
Wednesday 1.27 miles 20 minutes<br />
Thursday 1.35 miles 21 minutes<br />
And I've been under my calorie goal every day, except Monday. <br />
I'm going to try to post every week on my progress. Next week I'll link to a few sites that I use for inspiration. I'm using MyFitnessPal.com for tracking. If you'd like to follow my progress there, my user name is ChnkyMomNoMo. <div class="separator"style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUOYQ4m1hCIjFGr_NQ39LdbFb7BDMDrWz9VTwVLBFbWL-R-3EH9P5qZt4ckjvqJG_PrgV21JT8eNec7MkxKk7eBzKVKp0Dsf-UkAwkimoT0hxzsxflSVi2r3qI5yj_Ju3dQNby375KVp8/s640/blogger-image--953572361.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUOYQ4m1hCIjFGr_NQ39LdbFb7BDMDrWz9VTwVLBFbWL-R-3EH9P5qZt4ckjvqJG_PrgV21JT8eNec7MkxKk7eBzKVKp0Dsf-UkAwkimoT0hxzsxflSVi2r3qI5yj_Ju3dQNby375KVp8/s640/blogger-image--953572361.jpg" /></a></div><div class="separator"style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiw5Dx48dxpghW9l4DkOpnJ0GhzaY25B6l6fmBeIXHL1BAUkEp3uGzjLHfN4zHEWKqg6Dah0Q9LBQLR40TqR8RXNSlGkjncp6A8jH7GkO4UWPtHO6yoCuVU13Dc9BvLAVqMzLsTy0bTJqQ/s640/blogger-image--1492071444.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiw5Dx48dxpghW9l4DkOpnJ0GhzaY25B6l6fmBeIXHL1BAUkEp3uGzjLHfN4zHEWKqg6Dah0Q9LBQLR40TqR8RXNSlGkjncp6A8jH7GkO4UWPtHO6yoCuVU13Dc9BvLAVqMzLsTy0bTJqQ/s640/blogger-image--1492071444.jpg" /></a></div>RaynaErinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10061747620020281601noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2406993008415533931.post-5481899826385293782012-08-21T19:52:00.001-04:002012-08-21T19:52:44.315-04:00It's now or never!In my last post I promised to post some before pics, along with all the measurements. Oy vey! How I am dreading hitting publish on this post. But doing so pushes me to a new level. This will no longer be a fantasy in my head. No longer something I talk about occasionally. It will be something that I have to do. Because now I am accountable. I am accountable to all of you who actually read this and give a shit. <br />
But now is time to be honest. Brutally, painfully honest. I am not happy with the way I look. I don't think I have ever been truly happy about my looks, but then who is? Jennifer Aniston probably, but lets face it. The girl is pretty damn perfect.<br />
Anyway, back to me. So, yeah. Really unhappy with my looks. And I now there's the whole "you're over 30...you had two babies...blah blah blah". Don't get me wrong, I look at my kids and am amazed that I made them. I MADE them. In my body. That's pretty damn amazing right there. But they have been evicted. And as I am no longer breast-feeding, my body is mine again. To do with what I choose. And no matter what excuses I have made to myself and others over the years, the way I look is a choice I have made. Every time I eat when I'm not really hungry. Or eat some fat-laden calorie bomb over the more healthy options. Every time I sat on my ass watching tv or reading instead of being active. Every time I drove 2 minutes instead of walking. Every time I did that I chose to stay this way. <br />
Well, I can't do that any more. I AM over 30. And every year that goes by means it gets that much harder to change what's here. It also means another year of being unhappy. And while there are health risks that I am trying to avoid by getting my weight in check, I'm being honest here. I'm tired of being the chubby one.<br />
Sooooooo....without further ado...or more procrastinating...here are the gory details:<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqT37-ZMXJNBWsgwPRUHHECE_A1-YntnIBxznJNfL9peiPkLpSMhfBJLvXxPetgeLbhDdAkrX2Z0zU4VBFAUyrS-XPRywWAQGgBgqD-Vk-PXpJRzF_0l8HBWATZrTxtG4Ikw1b2pgFljc/s1600/028.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqT37-ZMXJNBWsgwPRUHHECE_A1-YntnIBxznJNfL9peiPkLpSMhfBJLvXxPetgeLbhDdAkrX2Z0zU4VBFAUyrS-XPRywWAQGgBgqD-Vk-PXpJRzF_0l8HBWATZrTxtG4Ikw1b2pgFljc/s320/028.JPG" width="239" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIcjYCFf-9Vw0KFFAYsxL_sIH5r2j-s2YohVxTTrcc2biQxZ4ymvAAnRxFVm8ZsKm3bH8M5xyEzwvOJIM6yNZe3HVbZRkj9YI_SXHdHODce8XAAVPfXd3c6flSZAwIvff3vnOG-in6hgU/s1600/029.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIcjYCFf-9Vw0KFFAYsxL_sIH5r2j-s2YohVxTTrcc2biQxZ4ymvAAnRxFVm8ZsKm3bH8M5xyEzwvOJIM6yNZe3HVbZRkj9YI_SXHdHODce8XAAVPfXd3c6flSZAwIvff3vnOG-in6hgU/s320/029.JPG" width="239" /></a></div>
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I am now at 158.6 pounds. And here are the measurements: </div>
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Arms: R 12.5" L 12.5"</div>
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Bust: 40"</div>
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Waist: 36.5"</div>
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Hips: 43.5"</div>
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Thighs: R 23 L 23</div>
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I don't want to get super skinny, or all scary-ripped. I like my curves. It's the rolls I'm not fond of.</div>
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<br />RaynaErinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10061747620020281601noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2406993008415533931.post-65813090671716713552012-08-10T13:35:00.002-04:002012-08-10T13:35:59.360-04:00Two birds...one stone...all that jazzYou would think from the title that this is going to be a post about all that I have accomplished with a minimum of effort. Well, you'd be wrong. This is going to be a post of all that I hope to accomplish. And I'm pretty sure it's going to take a lot of effort. <br />
So I blogged before about the schedule. Henceforth to be known as "The SCHEDULE". It's in all caps because it's just that important. I know it's been over 3 years since Hector was deployed, but I just remember that time as well-organized. At least it was well-routined. With that routine I was able to accomplish a lot, and I had time to play with my son. Since he's returned I have tried desperately to adhere to some sort of routine. Unfortunately I have been derailed at many occasions. One big obstacle was that over the past three years our lives have been so uncertain. We never knew how much longer we'd be living some place, so it always felt so temporary. When a place is temporary, there's really no need for a routine.<br />
Another obstacle was, and is, the fact that my husband suffers from PTSD and mTBI. For those of you unfamiliar with those two diagnosis, I forgive you your naivety and not understanding what those two things mean for establishing and maintaining a routine. Trying to maintain a routine when one half of the partnership exists in chaos is difficult at the best of times and impossible the rest of times. <br />
But we have reached a tenuous agreement that I will make up a schedule, and he will adhere to it. <br />
So I am hopeful that we will return so semblance of normal, and my kids will reach some state of calm. Those of you with kids will understand that children blossom when things in their life are constant and certain. Those of you with kids with ADHD will especially understand this. My son is much better able to control his impulses when he has a routine to look forward to. <br />
And I will be better able to handle my life when there is a routine. Up until now I have been struggling to get things done. I have been scrambling to get things done on time more than I like to admit. This means that my grades and everything else has suffered. <br />
I have long wanted to get back into shape, but with no routine in place that has been difficult. <br />
All that changes Monday. On Monday we will have a routine. And part of that is I go to the gym after bringing Munchkin to school. I have worked homework time into that and a cleaning schedule. <br />
And I'm asking for help. I'm asking for some of you to keep me accountable. I am going to do something dreaded by many women and make not just my before pictures public, but will also be posting the before measurements. I'm going to do weekly pics, and monthly measurements. Please keep help me stay motivated, and true to my course. Of course I want to look better (anyone who says differently is a damn liar). But equal to that is to stay healthy. There's a lot of scary stuff in my family's history, and maintaining a healthy weight and diet will help me avoid the scary stuff. So feel free to question me on my <a href="https://www.facebook.com/rayna.latorre" target="_blank">timeline</a> on Facebook as to how I'm doing. Making this as public as possible will help me stick to it this time.RaynaErinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10061747620020281601noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2406993008415533931.post-60876673192397671302012-08-07T20:17:00.004-04:002012-08-07T20:17:47.452-04:00One month downSo we've been in Florida for just over a month now. And we're finally getting to the point where there isn't a catastrophe every other day. The boxes are pretty all unpacked. Which is something that we didn't accomplish in West Point, and were there for over a year. Things are slowly falling into place. <br />
I've done up Monday through Friday schedule that Hector has agreed to follow. I've left weekends to fun and whimsy. In that schedule I've built in gym time and homework time. I've tried to do the gym-when-I-can thing. So far, it hasn't really worked out. Ok, it hasn't worked at all. Geez you're pushy. I've been a member of Planet Fitness for almost a month now, and I've been a grand total of 3 times. Yup, less than once a week. I want to go, but I've been trying to do it at the end of the day, once the kids are in bed. Yeah, once the kids are in bed I'm plastered to the couch watching something On Demand.<br />
As for homework time, I've been fitting that in around everyone else's stuff. And while my grades haven't suffered for it, they haven't exactly soared either. Instead of my normal A or B with the occasional C, I've been mostly a B student. When I know with time and dedication I can be an A student. <br />
But I really do like it here in Florida. I have a feeling we're going to be happy here. Soon as we start to make friends.RaynaErinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10061747620020281601noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2406993008415533931.post-50795118142234264852012-06-20T20:35:00.000-04:002012-06-20T20:35:16.543-04:00And the beat goes on...My house is empty. No couch or chairs, no beds, no dishes. Where is everything you ask? Well, it is on it's way to a new life in Florida. My furniture is not the only thing getting new life. We found a house in Orlando. It's a rental for now, but hopefully in a year we'll be able to buy. So we're moving to Florida! The sunshine state. For a new start. As of August 9 we will officially be civilians. No more military. No more Army. We will finally have a real life. And I am so very excited to start that new life. A normal life. Sounds like heaven. <br />
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And I'm very excited to start doing some of the crafty things I've pinned on <a href="http://pinterest.com/raynaerin/" target="_blank">Pinterest</a>. I have so many ideas for the kids rooms and our bedroom and the kitchen and the yard. That's right, I'm going to try my hand at gardening. <br />
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I'm going to find a gym and get really serious about getting in shape. I've got a few ideas on how to finally do that. It's probably going to involve making one dinner for the family and one for me, but it'll be worth the sacrifice. And if I'm paying for a gym I'll probably be more likely to actually go there...once in a while.<br />
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So wish me luck on this new part of my journey on this crazy roller coaster called life.RaynaErinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10061747620020281601noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2406993008415533931.post-67293089369831467442011-11-03T09:55:00.000-04:002011-11-03T09:55:23.971-04:00Procrastination- Thy Name is RaynaIn light of the fact that I am trying to be a better me, today's post is how I'm trying to be a better student. As most of you know I've been in college for over 10 years and only have an Associates to show for it. I'm currently working on my Bachelor's and have just over 84 weeks to go. I like to count it in weeks. Weeks are shorter than months (thank you Cpt Obvious) and 84 weeks sounds shorter than 20 months to me. So in a little over 84 weeks I will be the proud holder of a Bachelor's in English with a minor in History. And I will be 33 years old. <br />
Normally I'm a disorganized student. I try really hard to be organized. A little too hard. I spend more time trying to find a "system" that works for me than actually doing my work. So instead of trying to organize my assignments to death, I'm just going to do them. Sounds easy right? Well, habits are hard to break and I'm still organizing more than I should, but it's getting better.<br />
I also procrastinate until the very last minute and beyond. I used to just wait until right before an assignment was due to do it, but lately I've been waiting until the last day I can hand it in and get credit. This class I've just started should be good to kick my ass in gear for this one since assignments can only be one day late to receive credit. Anything past that and you're screwed. Since I've screwed up enough in past classes to have my GPA weeping, I need to get my ass in gear! In my past psych classes I've learned the reasons for procrastinating and have finally come to terms for why I do it. I used to make the excuse that I was too busy doing other things to concentrate on the work, not that I was afraid of failure. In actuality I am afraid of failure. For most of my academic career I was able to coast on the bare minimum of effort and get B's. Now not so much is that working any more, and I am afraid. Afraid that even with my very best effort I will fail. <br />
Anyone else have reasons for procrastinating? Did you get over them? How?RaynaErinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10061747620020281601noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2406993008415533931.post-15489109230290919982011-11-01T12:32:00.000-04:002011-11-01T12:32:21.075-04:00Groundhog WeekThis is going to be a very long week. Today is Tuesday, but I'm pretty sure we're stuck in some sort of alternate universe, kinda like Groundhog Day. But instead of reliving the same day over and over again, we're stuck with REALLY LONG days. I'm sure that all of us (and I mean ALL of us) being sick is not helping. Lil Miss has been sniffling for almost a week now and Munchkin has been coughing non-friggin-stop since Saturday. According to the doc it's a viral thing and could last 2 un-ending weeks-possibly 3. How do you keep a kindergartner from bouncing off the walls because he has to stay inside because he's sick? I could really use some tips pretty please? With a cherry on top? <br />
Halloween went swimmingly last night. We were out for only about 45 minutes and the kids are loaded. Not that they'll get to eat all that candy. I'm not a sugar Nazi or anything, but I am trying to teach them moderation. We're working on an 80/20 frame. 80% of the time I make them healthy balanced meals and 20% of the time we eat cookies for dinner. <br />
Today after Lil Miss's nap we're heading to the store for cough drops and groceries. My kitchen is looking barren....RaynaErinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10061747620020281601noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2406993008415533931.post-10060013364667482322011-10-29T16:21:00.000-04:002011-10-29T16:21:14.919-04:00Yuck, blah and ehhhh whatev'sIt's been one of those things. You know, one of those things where no matter what your intentions things go to shit? I started off the week so strong with conviction. I quit my job on Tuesday. And while I miss the job after I did it I felt like a weight had lifted. I thought we were in a position where I could go back to work but we're just not. Quitting was the right thing to do for me and my family.<br />
Wednesday seemed pretty good. Was going to walk the munchkin to school, but when we went to walk out the door it was kinda raining so I decided to drive him. Should've walked because by the time I got us loaded into the car it had stopped raining. After school there was a book fair so we stayed for that and bought two new books for the munchkin. When we left there my throat was sore, had been for a couple days. So I went to the ER, just in case ya know? After two (count 'em TWO!) cases of strep in a month I was being somewhat cautious. Especially since I'm here by myself with the kiddos for a month. Fortunately it wasn't strep. But I am sick. Not so sick that I can't do anything. But sick enough that I know if I over-do I'll be too sick to do anything. So I'm slowly getting this house in shape. Finally got Tommy's room cleaned up. It was beginning to look like Toy R Us had thrown up all over it. Next up, to FINALLY get my office done. It's been on the list since we moved in. 6 months ago.RaynaErinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10061747620020281601noreply@blogger.com0West Point, NY, USA41.3914827 -73.955972141.3429362 -74.0179876 41.4400292 -73.8939566tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2406993008415533931.post-51239726013708942792011-10-27T20:42:00.000-04:002011-10-27T21:12:01.088-04:00A New Day DawnsToday is a new day, well it's almost over but you get the drift. I've tried blogging a few times before this but it was a scattered effort. And sporadic at best. So now I start over. This blog is going to be about my life and all the craziness that entails. If you're easily offended this blog is not for you. I'm sarcastic, and have been known to drop an F-bomb from time to time. My husband drives me nuts, and <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_0" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">occasionally</span> I might rant about that. My kids drive me crazy at times, and there might be a few heated posts about that as well. <br />But beyond that I really am happy with my life. I adore my family, every single one. Even the ones that are bat-shit crazy. I currently reside in West Point, NY. That's right, I live on the US Military Academy. I'm surrounded by officers and their wives. Let me tell you, I've never felt so frumpy in my entire life!<br />So part of this blog is about how I plan to change all things about myself that I've always wanted to change. I've never been happy with the way I look. I know, I know self-esteem and all that. But I can't continue to be unhappy with my the way I look if I <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_1" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">don't </span>do anything about it, ya know? So with the inspiration from my cousin I'm going to start taking care of myself. Diet and exercise and all that. Wait, wait. <strong>Lifestyle change</strong>, not diet. <br />I'm horrible when it comes to managing money. Bills get paid-barely. But that's about it. We have no savings, and that needs to change. I've started to realize that material possessions will not provide happiness. But I'm a shoe-a-<span id="SPELLING_ERROR_2" class="blsp-spelling-error">holic</span>. Shoes don't make you feel fat. And at least that size number is small, unlike the pants size. That number will never be discussed outside the fact that it is a double digit-<span id="SPELLING_ERROR_3" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">hopefully</span> not for much longer. <br />So here's to the rest of my days. I hope you'll be here to support me and cheer me on and hold me accountable. I'm gonna need it.RaynaErinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10061747620020281601noreply@blogger.com2